Your Monkee Heritage; Children of the Monkee and the Ogress
The Tibetans have a creation myth that is closer to science and the truth than any other. In Tibetan mythology the human race began when a lowly Monkee was bestowed magical powers by the Buddhist deity Avalokiteshvara (The Buddha of Compassion). The Monkee wished to become an… Continue

Did you know your Monkee heritage extends into Central America where the Mayans had a Monkee god who (as the Baboon in Egypt) was the patron of the arts, music, writing and sculpture? In the Mayan Calendar, the Howler Monkee corresponds to knowledge of history and rituals, as well as prophecy. There is a fabled "Ciudad Blanca" in Honduras, dedicated to the Monkee God, but so far its location is unknown it is mentioned in pre-Columbian Toltec and Maya texts as "The ancient place where the aurora… Continue

Your Monkee Heritage; Babbons and Thoth
India and East Asia are not the exclusive holders of Monkee mythology; South America and Africa have their own tales of our people. The wisest of the Egyptian gods, was called Thoth (also known as Tehuti), the baboon and ibis god of the moon. Thoth was the god who overcame the curse of Ra, allowing Nut to give birth to her five children, with his skill at game… Continue

Thus the gods and others have procreated millions of such noble souled Vaanaras as the chiefs of warriors who can change their guise at their wish. Those Vanara generals who took birth thus became the prominent generals among the principle battalions of monkeys, and they have also procreated brave monkeys on their own.
-Valmiki Ramayana - Bala Kanda in Prose Sarga 17

It seems India is experiencing a bit of a problem with Monkees these days. From Monkees… Continue

Spanking the Monkee; The Zen Art of Masturbation Meditation

It has been said that 98% of people masturbate and the other 2% are liars. This is something I have been thinking about for a long time, and not just because I am experiencing one of the longest dry spells I have had since I was fifteen. The word masturbation is derived from the Latin words manus ("hand") and turbare ("to disturb"). I have given serious thought to the healthy aspects of masturbation both mentally and physically. We are… Continue